Injecting your practice with boundaries is a theme that, for many, seems uncomfortable. Injecting your practice with professionalism, compassion, creativity. Now those are the values we love to chat about as pillars in our work. Boundaries are historically a dirty word in business.
Those who talk about it must be abrupt, stiff, or rigid.
Boundaries being a difficult or challenging thing is a myth.
Quite the contrary.
According to Brene Brown, boundaries are not a foul or uncomfortable principle. They are the birthplace of generosity and compassion. With clear boundaries, we can give more fully and avoid the risk of bitterness or resentment to cloud our vision and goals.
I have always been of the mindset with my business and my children “Say yes as often as possible”. And while I still love that mindset, when I do say no, I am clear about my reasons why. My team, my clients, my children all know that my continuous openness to give generously is enhanced because of the boundaries that guide everything I do.
It really is a beautiful thing – having boundaries.
Changing your impression of the word no to meaning something else other than rejection is critical. When someone tells you the word “no,” it can mean several different things. It may be evidence of clear boundaries. And it makes us so much more authentic. Real. Genuine.
I am not ready yet to agree
You are making me feel uncomfortable
I do not understand
I don’t think I can afford it
I want something else
I need more information
I want to talk it over with someone else
If you are always saying yes, you may be creating a lack of authenticity. Here’s why.
You never really know with a yes if you are getting acquisition, agreeableness or acceptance. “No” preserves autonomy more than what a yes provides. Saying No is pretty clear in the boundaries department and demonstrates your human connection more powerfully than continually saying yes.
Brene describes boundaries as the beautiful soil of generosity that is nurtured. It doesn’t presume others are taking advantage of you. It provides clarity, so you do not need to experience that feeling. It gives others clarity too, so they can continue to be their best selves for you without confusion.
No confusion is also a beautiful thing. Once you believe boundaries are a beautiful part of connection and your business, you can build your boundaries with a positive mindset and bravely implement them.
Read more in this blog series to explore how to make your boundaries a beautiful thing in your business.