Injecting your practice with boundaries is a beautiful way to be more generous and give to others. If we buy into that concept, boundaries become a pathway to more authentic and compassionate service.
But how do we set them?
How do we build those important boundaries and, by extension, preserve them in our practice?
It is natural for us in a helping profession to find this tough to do. We want to be perfect, help everyone, do it all.
And if we don’t do it that well, we break into the pattern of shame.
Shame is so intrusive into our minds. It just comes along with every decision we make, playing shotgun. And the result is the ride is simply miserable.
Shame is like the debris that sticks around once the storm has blown through. It stays and is a constant reminder that we are not good enough or deserving to build our boundaries.
But we are. You are. I am.
Boundaries are essential for any relationship, including in business. Boundary issues come up, whether it be in your medical directorship/injector relationship or injector/client relationship. We are historically terrible at not creating them, never mind following through on them!
If you are wondering if you need boundaries, it helps to answer these three questions.
Do you know what your limits are?
Start here. Writing down your limits, the things you see as the things you no longer want to accept or tolerate. These may be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. You can’t set boundaries if you don’t know what they are. They may be different for you than others, based on your personality, circumstances and stress levels. Identify the things that happen in your business that makes you uncomfortable or stressed.
How do you feel when those limits are violated?
Tuning into your feelings are the cues and the signals that someone is crossing one of your limits. If you feel resentful, bitter or uncomfortable about a situation, it could be that you need a boundary set. When those feelings come, try to pause to think about what is causing your negative emotion.
Are you ready to permit yourself to set direct and clear boundaries?
Pay attention to that resentment, as it is usually a cue that you feel a boundary has been violated, resulting in your feeling undervalued or unappreciated. But if your violator knows there is a clear boundary set, it usually doesn’t get that far!
We are compassionate practitioners, so setting boundaries is often challenging to set in motion because we worry it may become contentious or challenging. But the key is to see boundaries as a sign of self-compassion and self-respect for yourself. You are deserving of the life you want to create, and you will be better for everyone you meet when you take care of yourself.
The best part about boundaries that surprises a lot of people is that we do well with boundaries. Tell me the explicit rules, and I don’t worry about letting your down. When someone violates your boundaries that are not established, they may not even realize that they are doing it!
Boundaries take practice and courage. It is a skill to develop, so start with something small. For example, if your injector continues to text you when you feel are inappropriate, try to gently let them know you will respond to texts during business hours or to email. Think about what you want and start with a tiny change. You may be surprised how easy it is accepted.
In our next blog, we address specific boundaries that you may be feeling you need in your business. You are not alone, and seeking support will help you build brave boundaries that are fair and specific to you, nourish your self-care and amplify your relationships in more authentic ways.